The grass is much greener

Sometimes, I struggle with perspective. That everyone is different and that the experiences we have all had as individuals have altered the way in which we view the world. The "world" encompasses all that comes to pass within our lives, the people we interact with, the people we don't interact with, the situations we find ourselves in, and the circumstances that are thrust upon us. I have learned an extremely valuable lesson over the past 5 weeks: the students that I have in my classes have very little control over their situations. I realize now that because a 6th grader says something intolerant, they don't necessarily know what is wrong with what they have said. It has helped me tremendously to try and relate to my students on this level rather than just yelling and screaming at them when something goes awry. I want to reach my students. I don't want to just write them off and send them to ISS, I WANT them to learn. And, for the most part, so do they. They chose band for a reason, so why would I spend my time making them hate it?

I have found that I am much more sympathetic to my students than I am to colleagues. I think that we are all responsible for how we behave as adults and the example we set forth for others. I am constantly seeking out ways to be the best example that I can be. I say, "Good Morning!" Or "Good Afternoon!" Or, "I'm doing great, how are you today?" To every teacher that passes me in the hallway. The response varies. Some teachers acknowledge me and speak with me briefly, others ignore me, and others meet me with frustration. I am working extremely hard to be as positive as possible, which is a complete transformation. 

I find high school band to be the most frustrating time of my day. It drives me insane that I am not able to get anything productive done and it makes me feel like a total failure as a teacher. I'm having such a difficult time breaking those terrible habits they have. I can't spend my whole year like this. Something has got to change and I honestly don't know what I can do. People keep telling me to be mean. How do you act strict without sounding like a whiny b****? I keep saying that it isn't their fault. That it's the habits they have been allowed to have, but come on. There is a certain point. My middle schoolers are my saving grace.

I just don't want to fail as an educator. I don't want this group of students to get the best of me and cause me to give up on them or myself. But I'm running out of solutions.