Brace for impact

The school year is coming to a tumultuous ending. The Board of Supervisors has cut the budget so much that we are starting out the upcoming year in a deficit. They are not replacing several of the teachers who are resigning or retiring. Class sizes will increase and behavior will become even more of an issue. This includes the assistant principal, who is shared between both the high school and the middle school. My biggest concern is that my students are NOT getting the right opportunities. My high school students play on marching snares. The Xylophone is bent in the middle and two of the resonators are broken. My middle school students play on a marching bass drum. The only set of Tom-toms I have were donated from someone in Richmond Concert Band. And forget auxiliary equipment. It boggles me that a group of adults can mandate all of these cuts on students. The community has spoken out against these things and they are embarrassed. Many are considering MOVING to a different county where their students and teachers have a better success rate. It's often difficult to keep your interest as a student when everything gets taken away from you. Many of the core teachers only have classroom text books, most of which are damaged so badly that they can't be used. But don't worry, the police department got the funding for all new vehicles. They have discussed meeting the minimum standards of learning. That means no guidance counselors, no electives, only in class textbooks, longer days, and much less administration. Many of my colleagues have commented that the school system will fold. There has to be something more that can be done. 

As I keep cutting weight, I feel like I am relearning how to be myself. Recently, I have been OBSESSING over an individual who really does not matter in my life. She is not me. I am not her. I have spent so much of my life worrying about other people that I often completely forget myself. I also forget to be PROUD of myself. I forget about my accomplishments and think strictly about my faults. It's not good to live your life thinking about how great everyone else is and what you want to change about yourself. Basically, you have to live your life according to the things you want and the ideals that you hold. Just because another person acts in a certain manner or does a certain thing, does not make you inferior to them. Someone else's success is NOT your failure. It has NOTHING to do with you. 

Saying goodbye to my codependency has certainly changed me.